Farewell to Tonsils

It would be nice to write an ode to my tonsils just like Elton John did it when he departed from his friend cocaine. Think, I'm not going to do it, because they were not so dear to me after all. Instead, I’ll just jot down some bits and pieces about my experience from the previous two weeks.

It all started with a phone call in a strange kind of 60's looking room with gentle water-flowing sound. There were many calls and many people leaving- I was the last one of them. “Sit down and wait here”; “Hy, I'm your narcosis doctor”; „Lay down here and put your head in the ring, while we tie you down”: where the kind of sentences I heard the Monday before at about 2:30PM before they released some kind of intoxicating medicine into my blood and lungs which put me off to sleep.

The waking up part was a bit confusing. Actually, I really had no clew where I was in the first place. And I also remember being a bit pissed about the fact that they woke me up- would have wanted to sleep a bit more. The feeling at that point was something really vegetable like- between here and nothingness with my head stuck into a small bowl, which woefully received quite large amounts of my blood. At some point in time, when I was feeling a bit "here" already, they decided to move me into my hospital room. There again, I stick my head into the blood pot, just to wait the bleeding to stop. Well, it didn't actually and at some point in time nurses rushed in and took me back to the doctor to have another look what was going on. I remember something very frightful and red being moved from my throat and after that remember being put under a dropper, which obviously feed some kinds of medicine and painkillers just to stop my bleeding. I fell asleep.

Woke up somewhere during seven o'clock, when my mother came to see me. By that time the bleeding had almost stopped and I felt a bit better, but that must have been from the different drugs that I had received. Fell asleep again and woke up somewhere during the night, because of the intolerable pain and my roommates loud and ceaseless snoring. Morning, and somehow I felt really good. I ate two yogurts in something like 5 minutes and didn't really feel any pain. The other guy in my room by that time had finished only quarter of one yogurt. Got out of the hospital and went home.

Eat only yogurt and ice cream for the first five days, had painkillers after every five hours for the first four days, stayed in for the first five days and suddenly it really started feeling good. Went to the doctor this Thursday and she said that my throat had healed 100% and that I could start training straight away if I wanted. Strange, I thought I would have to stay in bed for two weeks. Luckily not. Overall, the experience wasn't as bad as I thought it will be and I "think" I don't miss my tonsils that much...

Like Matter Out of Space

...my Sussex supervisor said this to me today here in Estonia. Its strange where people meet and how small the world sometimes is. Buy the way, his ancestors were originally from Saaremaa (the island I spent most of my youth years) and emigrated from there somewhere in the 1830s. Some people must have been very unsatisfied with their lives, because they practically moved to the other side of the globe- New Zealand. Why there? Well, this was the thing he didn't tell me…

Nick was here in Tartu today because of a PhD thesis presentation he was supervising. It was Karin’s PhD paper, which she defended in the University of Tartu and its Department of Economics. The thesis was about “The Impact of the Autonomy on the Performance in a Multinational Corporation’s Subsidiary in Transition Countries”. Covering many aspects of the story, she stated amongst many points that subsidiary autonomy is a little bit bigger in countries, which have achieved higher economic success/growth. Also, and which I find very interesting: multinational companies strategically have to choose between strategies derived from the market size of the host economy, thus having its implications on the autonomy of a subsidiary.

Developing this latter point a little bit further, what are the policy implications for a small country like Estonia? What constraints does that set for us when attracting FDI? Basically, this is what I will hopefully talk about in one of my spring term essays. Briefly, as economic history has shown it is extra important for a small country to develop a specific economic set up and to find a MNC to fit into that local set up.

Against the Gods

I must say I admire people who name their books Against the Gods just like Peter L. Bernstain has done it. And the fact that You put Rembrant's Storm on the Sea of Galilee on it as well, is not bad marketing. As a matter of fact, I think this book has one of the most intriguing titles and covers I’ve seen.

So what about the contents? The book takes a journey that begins with the importation of the Arabic numbering system to the West and ends with modern chaos theory. Bernstein makes surveys of all the intellectual contributions of each great figure of risk as they strive to understand basic probability, the law of large numbers, bell curves, regression analysis, uncertainty theory etc. Basically the first half of the book or maybe tree quarters of it was nothing new to me (except stories about authors), especially having just finished lectures in risk management and statistics last term. But Bernstein also spends the latter quarter of the book on risk and probability theory in the financial world, where theorists have developed portfolio analysis, volatility studies, hedging and side bets and other quantitative market plays, which I wasn’t very familiar with.

Overall, the book was an interesting read, however I must say that risk in nowadays world doesn’t really border only with probability theory in the financial world (although it is a big chunk of the picture). There are other pieces of the puzzle, like technological risks, environmental risks etc, which are all-important to the whole story and maybe shouldn’t be disregarded. But then again, maybe one must draw a line somewhere and bound it only with financial part of the story. If one look's at Bernstein's past, one can easily make that assumption...

And what about game theory? I really enjoyed the Keynes’s vs. Jevon's contradiction in the 14th paragraph- the man who counts everything except calories. I think I’m more of the person who falls into the Keynes paradigm- we simply do not know kind of bounded rationality. But then again, I totally agree with the fact that there is this mysterious power in numbers...

Welcome to Estonia

"Well, isn' it ironic, don' You think?" One day before I left, my professor gave me his new book about Estonia: Estonia, the New EU Economy: Building a Baltic Miracle? I haven't had a chance to read it yet (left it to UK), but the title sounds very (maybe a bit too) challenging. Building a miracle? Are You sure? If so, I have reasons to believe that we are very far from that miracle and that we need to put a lot of effort into that holy cause.

Why is that? Ok, take my first hour in Estonia. I'll leave all the destroyed roads in Tallinn aside and focus on a little incident that awaited me in one of Tallinn's biggest hospitals'. Since I had to have a tonsil operation this Monday (write about it a bit later, when the experience has settled in), I had to give a blood test prior to that. I chose to give it in the abovementioned hospital for reasons of convenience and because it's the main emergency hospital in Tallinn. The reception I got there was really awful: in the reception I met a person that completely changed my perception of a dumb bureaucrat. She gave me every reason to hate her and by the end of our five-minute conversation (felt useless to argue with her for a longer time), I felt that I should really write about this experience. So what happened? Basically she tried to avoid every reason to give me the blood test saying that she would have to find me a doctor etc. Well hello, isn't it her job to find me a doctor? Isn't it her job to help me instead of telling me how stupid am I? Haven't really met such a case of "powerful bureaucrat" in my life. Hope someday she will figure out that her job is to help me, because if I wouldn't be there, so wouldn't she. And what about telling me not to chew a chewing gum during our talk. Who is she? Why is she telling me such kind of things? I really do not understand...

But then again with a few exceptions Estonia is good. Friends, family and even the snow that I can see from my window looks nice from a distance. It's probably due to the fact that I haven't had the chance to 'enjoy' it the whole winter...

Still, my main question is about the signals we are transmitting and the message they contain. What are we trying to say, when we publish books about miracles and then again expose signs of total ignorance and underdevelopment? We need much more understanding and an effort to show that we are really trying to be a miracle, not leave it up to others to think so.

Digging in the Dirt

Today’s risk management course really got me thinking about different values people have. And although I have been roaming on this track since I came here to England, it has lately definitely taken more and more of time in my day-to-day thoughts. Maybe today it was explicitly brought up because of the exercise we did called Multi Criteria Mapping, but maybe not. I think I’ve come to this point by getting out of the “Estonian” context and by the fact that I think I’m still trying to figure where do I fit into the overall big picture. And as time passes, I’m figuring out more and more where my goals lie and admire others who perceive the world differently. Of course it doesn't mean that sometimes i woudn't take the pleasure and push their views to test how applicable they really are...

It’s very strange and yet challenging to think in perspective what kind of values one has and why. What is it that I value the most, what do I keep sacred and so on? I guess the whole notion of values is a very path dependent process and has very much to do with one’s childhood experiences. Just a couple of days ago I was chatting with my best friend about our dreams- how we go back to a certain place to live our experiences through and through again. Is this the place that created my values? Guess so, with all the political/historical background going on at that time. But some of it must come from the later parts of my life through my education maybe, and what about the culture? So is it that our values are fixed or can they be changed? Just yesterday I was listening to a talk by Anthony Robbins, who maybe makes it a bit too easy. He is convinced that if one wants to change his or her beliefs, one should just do it. I really think that this is not so easy and convenient, but then again why not?

Oh, and all of this was inspired by Klute - Silently. I recommend you listen to it, if you have time. Thanks, R.

Weekend world

After having finished my statistics exam, I really longed for some change. Some of my course mates went to Scotland, but for reasons I will describe, I couldn’t do that. What happened is that I went to London and played in a tournament with my old Estonian football team - FC Toompea. Considering the team we had, the result was unexpectedly good- got second place in a four-team tournament consequently losing to the winners (British Press Association). Oh, and if I may, I was selected best player of the tournament. After the tournament I had a little dinner with my teammates in a fairly good Mediterranean restaurant, where I had my usual favorite: seafood. The overall atmosphere was really political, since I happened to sit in the political end of the table. It was very interesting and nostalgic to hear three main political figures from different Estonian parties (of whom one is in power) debate on the current Estonian policy hot topics. And by today, I must say, one of the things discussed around that table has had an impact on real life. Strange, but it really reminded me the times I worked in the State Chancellery.

As the evening progressed, I left my team and met up with other Estonians working or studying in London. We went to an Irish pub somewhere on Picadilly just to have a couple of drinks with a really pleasant chat on what people where doing and etc. I was mainly interested on how one should look for a job in London, especially in the City. At the moment it seems to me that this is the place I am aiming, but we'll see about that somewhere in September. Anyway, the evening ended at Oliver's place somewhere near Earl's Court.

Sunday offered me a nice English breakfast in a really cool cafe somewhere near Earl's Court. The atmosphere as well as the interior was something I haven't encountered here in Brighton. Maybe one would find it more likely somewhere in France or places like that. Of course another defeat for Liverpool- a bit undeserved, but then again, maybe not. Think they are a bit tired from the season. And then the usual London Victoria, Clapham Junction, East Croydon, Gatwick Airport and Brighton train back home.

Orange Wednesday and Syriana

Wednesday is a good day for students here in UK. Why? Well, because Odeon offers quite a bargain with cinema tickets: two for the price of one. So one ticket will be something like 2 pounds and something. Compared to the Estonian cinema tickets, admissions here are cheaper even when you buy the full price ticket. Someone should really shake that monopoly over there. Anyway, my story will focus on "Syriana" now...

Overall, I think that it's quite a powerful film, which tries to show how governments and MNC place the ambition to control the world's oil supply. The plot in the beginning seems quite complicated and although I didn't follow every detail of its plot, in the end it's not that hard to follow all the threads coming together.

Basically, what emerges from this movie is a wide web of corruption and self-interest in the oil industry. In one plot thread, the men behind two merging oil companies will stop at nothing to make the merger go through, since the new company will be one of the most powerful in the world. In the meantime the law firm representing the company proves that it's eager to cash in on the company's new economic success. The second thread focuses a power struggle between the two sons of an aging king in a Middle Eastern country, which has attracted the attention of the American government, operating through the CIA. America has a vested interest in which of the king's sons succeeds him to the throne: it wants his younger son, who will continue to relegate his country through the exploration of its natural resources to prevail. And in the film's third thread shows how the struggle for oil feeds the radical Islam movement in the Middle East, providing young lost men with a feeling of brotherhood and some kind of righteousness in the face of a region they feel has turned its back on them.

"Syriana" to my mind was a little bit slow in its tempo- equivalent Hollywood movies are a much faster and more packed with action. On the other hand it can admittedly be somewhat exhausting, especially in the end when You are left with a kind of powerlessness showing that most of us are small nuts in a big play...




PS: Oh, and buy the way, Liverpool lost yesterday. I have my own version of this story of which I will probably write about after the end of the football season in may.

A little bit about football

Just hope that you agree with my idea that a title doesn’t have to be a common denominator for the story one want‘s to tell. Well, it is not in this case. Today was a strange day. First of all, it was pissing down the whole day, so it really didn't make me feel good. Most of the day I spent inside studying and reading stuff for my thesis and for the spring term essay in Competing in the Global Economy. The second half of the day I spent focusing on football- went to train with the Sussex team and then watched Barcelona vs. Chelsea in the Lion and the Lobster. I can tell you the training today was absolutely horrible: I didn't understand the game at all and most of the passes I gave went completely in the wrong way. Really embarrassing! I have a friendly game coming up tomorrow and I really don't know weather I get to play at all.

At least the day ended on a good note: Barcelona won against Chelsea. A result I really hoped for- now it is just left for Liverpool to win against Betis tomorrow. Why I wanted Chelsea to lose? I must knowledge that Barcelona has been one of my favorite teams for a long time, but still, today (or for the past two weeks) it has been more about Chelsea’s arrogance. I really do not understand Mourinho, who addresses the public at the end of the game, with a message that the best team really lost today. It seems to me really pointless, like waving your middle finger at the end of the battle when you are dying just to show one's bitterness. I have much more respect for Frank Rijkaard, who refused to comment on any of Mourinho’s comments. And of course then there is Ronaldinho, who at one pont of the game just wanted to see how long he could keep the ball...well 5 Chelsea players got the ball off from him, but only by making a foul.

Everyday should be like Sunday...

Had a really wonderful Sunday today, really! Spent some good time in London with Lucy and Evan. Had a delicious Sunday roast, as it is really common for a decent English person to have on Sundays. Also bought a book from Oxford street called Against the Gods- basically about history of risk. I have to write an essay in Management of Technological Risks and thought that this book would be a good place to start with. Basically, what I want to do is to write an essay how venture capitalists measure/evaluate risks, when they invest into high-tech or technology intense startups. Hope that my flat mates friend from London School of Economics can provide me with some useful materials- he's doing a course in Management and Regulation of Risk.

The pleasure of finding things out

Well, during the weekend I finally finished a book that I bought from the Science Museum in the beginning of last september: John Gribbin's Science: A History. By the way, John is a visiting fellow of Astronomy here in the University of Sussex.

The book itself is brilliant and mind broadening: it covers the story of the Western science over the past 500 years and provides an excellent introductory to the whole subject. Amongst the things I enjoyed the most were Newton's bitterness and the explanation of the myth of his "standing on the shoulders of giants" as well as all the development of the quantum theory. I'll definitely pursue the subject further starting with a book I bought quite some time ago from Frankfurt about Einstein's most famous equation. Still, for now I have to stick to some conventional stuff: Freeman's Economics of Industrial Innovation has already taken a place beside my bed. Respect!